Questions to ask a man before you start dating
And the test will come like a train on a dark and stormy night! I first asked this question in , and I think it boils down to this: Is their love based on YOU or is their love based on THEM? Your partner can look and smell like a rose, and yet continue to prick you with their sharpened barbs.
Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? If you or the person you’re dating loves out of their insecurities, their love will be needy and selfish. Are they willing to honestly talk about money at all or is the topic taboo?
where I feel like I’m having to pretend to be someone else. How this plays out in my life, especially in the aspect of career, is that I struggle doing work I don’t believe in and isn’t aligned with who I am.
Authenticity forces me to intensely evaluate why I’m doing what I’m doing and strive to do work aligned with my beliefs.
In marriage you begin to rub off on each other, subtly taking on traits and characteristics of the other.
Does this thought excite you or does it make you feel like you just digested a can of the before mentioned Play-Doh? And you need to have your own identity beyond your spouse. If you don’t want to become like the person you’re dating, should you be dating?
As I wrote in “If your core values can’t dance together, then you’ll keep tripping, falling and wondering why you can’t move together in rhythm.” For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.
Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.
Do you feel fragmented when you’re with your partner or do you feel whole? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?
() And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.
Sure we’re not our parents and we can work to change our communication habits.
Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity.
I struggle being in a job, friendship, situations, etc.